Why EVERYONE should own a Collie

aka the (short) list of reasons why I love my two Collies. ;)

1. They're warm.
Freezing your tail off? With a Collie you won't! When winter comes along, Lassie gets much more cuddly and I stay much warmer. ;)

2. They love to bark.
What? Do you not see this as a positive thing? Well, you'd be wrong! Do you know how many creepers I've possibly been saved from because these two can hardly keep their mouths shut when a person approaches?
Besides, when you talk to a dog that actually talks back you look less* insane.
*You still look insane, just less insane.

3. They will protect your children and family.

For example, when I was fourteen or fifteen I was out walking Lassie with my friend of the same age, we were having a great time walking to the little market not too far from home. We were going to buy candy, lots of it. As we got there a middle aged man (who was clearly in the middle of working his construction job), left his work behind to run up to me and my friend. At first I thought he just wanted to pet my dog; who doesn't love Lassie, right? I'm sure it's possible that was all he wanted, but the closer he got to us the more uncomfortable I felt. At the time I was walking Lassie on a Gentle Leader and the man stopped just far enough that Lassie couldn't reach him and asked, "Can he bite with that thing on?"

Now I was a little freaked out. I was (still am) very small and young and this guy was rather large and he was all gung-ho about approaching us until Lassie noticed him.
Now many people mistook Lassie's Gentle Leader for a muzzle, but they always asked, "What is that? Is it a muzzle?" or "Aw, does that mean he's not friendly? I was hoping to pet him." To fifteen year old me, those were much more friendly ways to ask that question. His question of, "Can he bite with that thing on?" made fifteen year old me a little suspicious. Why was he asking? He didn't ask to pet Lassie, so what did he want?
I assured him with the truth, "Oh yes! He can still bite." I put plenty of emphasis on that word as I tightened my hold on Lassie's leash, as if I was afraid I would lose control of my mellow Collie at any second. Right on cue, Lassie looked the man straight in the face and gave him his most fearsome chorus of barks. The man immediately left and my friend and I proceeded to smuggle Lassie into the little market we had walked all that way for. I hid behind the candy shelf with Lassie while my friend made our purchases, then we wasted no time getting home.
Whether Lassie barked at him because he really was up to no good or because he (Lassie) could sense how nervous I was, I'm not sure, but either way I was very grateful.

 And let's not forget Petal, who also has a perfect example for you.
A few months ago my laundry was hanging up to dry in several places in the kitchen (think open cupboard door handles). The lights were out and at first glance, it looked as though there were many tall people lurking in our kitchen. It was a bit freaky, I'll admit. Petal can attest to that. She got a glance at this scene and charged at my clothing, barking and growling and ready to rip to shreds those that threatened our home. She has never behaved like that before and has never behaved that way since. After further inspection she realized they were innocent, body-less clothes and no real action was needed. She calmed down and went from Petal-The-Vicious-Man-Eating-Dog to her usual happy, lighthearted self in 5 five seconds. It was nice to know that she was willing to spring into action if need be. I'm sure she made Ella very proud.

4. They're up for just about anything!
Wanna go hiking? So does your Collie! Wanna go for a leisurely walk? So does your Collie! Wanna be a couch potato for a few hours?* So does your Collie!
*Notice I said a few hours. In some cases you can get away with a whole day of couch potatoness (but you better give your Collie a good reason for this, like sickness or injury or bad weather). But if you want to be a couch potato for a whole week, your Collie will not allow this. Which is also a plus side; exercise is healthy!

5. They won't roll in dead things.

"And risk ruining this lovely coat?"

"Dude, I don't think so."

6. They're excellent models.
Looking to photograph dogs? Collies are always* up for a photo shoot!
*Not to be taken literally. ;)

7. They have plenty of hair to brush and play with.
This is a plus side in my book. I just love burying my face in their fur and brushing and stroking it. Granted, it's a lot of work, but it's work worth doing.

8. They have a Smooth (short) coat variety.
If you happen to disagree with reason number 7 or just don't have the time for all that grooming, you can still have all the fun of owning a Collie without hours and hours of grooming work!
This is my "retirement" plan. ;) If I'm well off and can afford to take my Rough Collies to a good groomer regularly, then I'll continue to have Rough Collies even when I'm old, otherwise, Smooth Collies all the way!

9. They are goofballs.
Really, they are. I know Lassie looks all serious for the camera, but even he is a major goofball. He'll throw tantrums if you tell him to do something he doesn't want to do; kicking his feet around and moaning and groaning in complaint.

He likes to poke people with his nose. He really loves it when he leaves a booger-y nose print on your shirt. If you're a guy he'll poke you right in then... well... you know (this is probably why I'm single, thanks Lassie), it's like his stamp of approval (yes, it does mean he likes you). He likes to sniff your bum and then snort and shake his head as if to tell you you smell bad. He likes to flirt with blonde women (not kidding, he likes meeting new people, but blonde women have a special place in that Collie heart (traitor)).

And Petal, well... I think everyone knows what a goofball she is.

She's also a flirt. She likes certain man voices. If she hears a voice she likes on TV, she'll watch it for a little while.

10. LOOK AT THESE FACES.

I rest my case.

Note: this list may not apply to every single Collie out there. This list was made just for fun. But if you are interested in owning a Collie, search for a Collie rescue near you.